Thoughts & Sayings (June 2014)


Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in April and May. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. Question this.

question

2. Live it up but let it down slowly.

liveitup

3. It isn’t the end of the world, but avoid it like the plague.

plague

Twisted Words

4. This restaurant is notable. I can never get a reservation.

restaurant

5. If nobody’s perfect, I must be a nobody.

perfect

Random Musings

6. Why can’t I move as fast as my brain?

brain

7. It’s never dangerous until it is.

danger

8. Why do people care if chickens cross the road?

chicken

9. Every day, millions of people have their cake and eat it.

cake

Click here to visit the Thoughts & Sayings page, or click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts & Sayings.

Thoughts & Sayings (April 2014)


Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in February and March. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Click here to read the original article on MG Edwards. Visit MG Edwards for more great travelogues, photos, and video from around the world.

Encouraging Words

1. You only live once. Use it wisely.

life

2. One’s misunderstanding is another’s failure to communicate.

communicate

Twisted Words

3. I’m the real deal. You can have me at a discount.

discount

4. A broken record gets tired of being played over and over.

record

In Its Own Write

5. I’m always inspired to write when someone else is doing it.

writing

Holidays & Events

6. Dive into the March Madness pool, but don’t forget to tread water.

pool

7. Can I borrow some green? I’m in a pinch.

green

8. Merchandising in the air.

merchandising

Random Musings

9. I dream of things that I never knew were on my mind.

dream

Click here to visit the Thoughts & Sayings page, or click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts & Sayings.

Straight from the Headlines


RFN

rfnheadlineReal Funny News (RFN) and the “Straight from the Headlines” feature launched in 2005 as an April Fool’s Day joke. RFN is a fictional news network that publishes fake “Straight from the Headline” news reports. It puts its own thought-provoking twist on current events from around the world in order to elicit laughter. Articles appear once a year on an auspicious day when readers might be fooled into believing that they’re actual news stories. With its own take on the news, RFN fits right in with the mainstream media.

Visit RFN for all the latest news and information affecting your world.

RFNslogan

Disclaimer:  These articles are works of satirical fiction. Although they may reference real names and places, any resemblance to the truth is coincidental. References to actual public figures are fictitious.

Click here to read the original article on MG Edwards. Visit MG Edwards for more great travelogues, photos, and video from around the world.

Straight from the Headlines: Sakhalin and Kurils Secede from Russia


Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk, Russia (RFN) – The Russian Far East islands of the Kurils and Sakhalin voted to secede from Russia and rejoin Japan.

An overwhelming majority in the Russian Far East federal subject of Sakhalin Oblast, better known as the Kurils and Sakhalin, voted today in a controversial election to leave the Russian Federation and rejoin Japan. Exit polls indicated that 99 percent of voters favored secession from Russia and annexation by Japan, which had governed the islands from 1807 until the end of World War II. The referendum called “hasty” and “illegitimate” by critics was held ten days after former Sakhalin Oblast governor Alexander Khoroshavin and his top aides fled to Moscow following a period of political unrest in the islands’ capital, Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk.

Russia Red SquareThe Sakhalin Oblast government led by interim governor Shigeru Kayano defended the vote as free and fair. “The will of the people is to rejoin the Motherland, Japan. The Russians are constantly trying to drive us into a corner because we have an independent position, because we maintain it, and because we tell it like it is and don’t engage in hypocrisy. But there is a limit to everything. Russia has crossed the line, playing the bear and acting irresponsibly and unprofessionally.”

Russian President Vladimir Putin and critics called the referendum a “sham” and a violation of international law. Election monitors banned from Sakhalin indicated that a large number of foreign workers in the local oil and gas industry were seen at polling stations. Some observers accused the interim Sakhalin government of preventing Russian voters from going to the polls and refusing to give voters the option to remain a part of the Russian Federation instead of independence or annexation by Japan.

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe denied his country’s involvement in Sakhalin’s move to return to Japan. The Japanese Diet is expected to approve the annexation, and Abe is scheduled to deliver a speech to the parliamentary body on the matter.

Putin decried the movement of ships in the U.S. Pacific Fleet off the coast of Sakhalin as a “dangerous escalation” to enforce the handover. U.S. President Barack Obama denied the claim and stated that the American fleet had been coincidentally carrying out pre-planned military drills in the Sea of Okhotsk. Putin warned that the moves could draw sanctions or a stronger response from Russia.

Before the March 21 disappearance of Khoroshavin and his $2 million Horch 855 Spezial Roadster, the Sakhalin Oblast government had been under pressure from foreign workers and indigenous minorities to ease up on “anti-non-Russian” political restrictions. After thousands of Ainu, Oroks and Nivkhs and foreign workers in the Sakhalin oil and gas industry took to the streets of Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk in early March, violence erupted when pro-Russian forces tried unsuccessfully to dislodge the protesters occupying Lenin Square. Interim governor Kayano chided the Russian government for what he called “heavy-handed tactics” and stated that “Russia pressed the spring too hard, and it snapped back.”

Map picture

 

ACLU Seeks an End to April Fool’s Day

Los Angeles (RFN) – The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), citing possible civil rights violations on April Fool’s Day, set up a hotline to help end the practice of perpetrating practical jokes on unsuspecting fools the first day in April. The ACLU asks those who are potential victims of April Fool’s Day pranks to contact the April Fool’s hotline at their earliest convenience. The ACLU will prepare cases for eligible claims in an effort to combat this offensive practice. If you believe you have wrongly duped by an April Fool’s Day joke or prank and seek redress, contact the ACLU at 968-3665 (YOU-FOOL).

Visit RFN for all the latest news and information affecting your world.

RFN – We report.

You deal with it.

Click here to read the original article on MG Edwards. Visit MG Edwards for more great travelogues, photos, and video from around the world.

Thoughts & Sayings (February 2014)


Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in December 2013 and January 2014. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. You cannot deny destiny, but if you do nothing, destiny can deny you.

destiny

2. Doing two things at once takes half the time.

busy

Twisted Words

3. I score a goal every time I hit the coffee puck into the trash.

puck

In Its Own Write

4. I’m writing a book about a pair of normal Romans.

romans

Holidays & Events

5. A human in a polar vortex is like a polar bear in a zoo.

polar

6. ’13 was my lucky year. I made it to 2014.

2013

7. The Mayan calendar ended in 2012. It only took me a year to catch up.

mayan

8. The ring of the cash registers sounds like silver bells.

jingle

9. Before the advent of December 1, there was November 30.

advent

Random Musings

10. Sometimes what’s in the rear view is more interesting than what lies ahead.

rearview

11. Trains of thought don’t always run on schedule.

trains

Click here to visit the Thoughts & Sayings page, or click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts & Sayings.

Images courtesy of Microsoft except Roman Coliseum photo by M.G. Edwards.

WAfK Front Cover (mini)M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain, and a short story collection called Real Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Stories. He also wrote and illustrated Alexander the Salamander, Ellie the Elephant, and Zoe the Zebra, three books in the World Adventurers for Kids Series, and a 3-in-1 collection featuring all three. His books are available in e-book and print from Amazon.com and other booksellers. Edwards graduated from the University of Washington with a master’s degree in China Studies and a Master of Business Administration. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

For more books or stories by M.G. Edwards, visit his web site at www.mgedwards.com or his blog, World Adventurers. Contact him at me@mgedwards.com, on Facebook, on Google+, or @m_g_edwards on Twitter.

© 2014 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted without the written consent of the author.

Thoughts & Sayings (December 2013)


Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in October and November. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. Sitting can be a big pain in the butt.

sitting

2. Past performance never returns.

performance

3. Sometimes life is two steps sideways.

sideways

Twisted Words

4. A flying saucer landed in front of me. On it was a cup of coffee.

saucer

5. You have to go to bed because it won’t come to you.

bed

In Its Own Write

6. It looks like I’ve come down with a case of NaNoWriMo.

nanowrimo

Holidays & Events

7. I’m going to need a holiday from all these holidays.

holidays

8. Turkey is so fulfilling that I’m absolutely stuffed.

thanksgiving

Random Musings

9. Stubbornness is an equal and opposite force.

stubborn

Click here to visit the Thoughts & Sayings page, or click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts & Sayings.

Images courtesy of Microsoft.

 

clip_image004M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain, and a short story collection called Real Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Stories. He also wrote and illustrated Alexander the Salamander, Ellie the Elephant, and Zoe the Zebra, three books in the World Adventurers for Kids Series, and a 3-in-1 collection featuring all three. His books are available in e-book and print from Amazon.com and other booksellers. Edwards graduated from the University of Washington with a master’s degree in China Studies and a Master of Business Administration. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

For more books or stories by M.G. Edwards, visit his web site at www.mgedwards.com or his blog, World Adventurers. Contact him at me@mgedwards.com, on Facebook, on Google+, or @m_g_edwards on Twitter.

© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted without the written consent of the author.

Thoughts & Sayings (October 2013)


Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in July, August, and September. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Fermented, and they’ll drink with you all day.

apple

2. I have some words of wisdom to share with you. Excuse me while I take them out of Pandora’s box.

box

Twisted Words

3. It’s harder to herd kids than goats.

goat

4. A sacred cow cows a scared cow.

cow

In Its Own Write

5. Fiction writing is the novelist concept.

novelist

6. Poetry may set you free but to make it rhyme takes time.

poetry

Holidays & Events

7. Today is Outdependence Day for those who don’t celebrate the 4th of July.

july4

Random Musings

8. We interrupt this report about yelling fire in a crowded theater for breaking news about a fire in a crowded theater.

news

9. “Because I can,” said the man when asked why he works at a packaging plant.

can

10. “What’s so great about sliced bread?” asked the baker.

bread

11. Out of the mouths of babes comes drool.

 

babes

Click here to visit the Thoughts & Sayings page, or click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts & Sayings.

Images courtesy of Microsoft.

WAfK Front Cover (mini)M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures and children’s books. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain, and a short story collection called Real Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Stories. He also wrote and illustrated three picture books in the World Adventurers for Kids Series:  Alexander the Salamander, Ellie the Elephant, and Zoe the Zebra. Edwards graduated from the University of Washington with a master’s degree in China Studies and a Master of Business Administration. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

His books are available in e-book and print from Amazon.com and other booksellers. For more books or stories by M.G. Edwards, visit his web site at www.mgedwards.com or his blog, World Adventurers. Contact him at me@mgedwards.com, on Facebook, on Google+, or @m_g_edwards on Twitter.

© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted without the written consent of the author.