I’ve been doing some tweeting on Twitter to figure out how to use the site. Until recently Twitter was a big mystery to me, but I’m slowly figuring out the tweeting “game.” As far as I can tell, Twitter is essentially a race to win as many followers as possible so that when you have something important to say, you can broadcast it and get the word out to hundreds or thousands of people. Unless you have something really profound to say, like eyewitness reports of major events, it can be hard work getting noticed amid all the tweets. After the umpteenth offer for a free credit report or miracle cure, tweeting starts to lose its luster.
To get the balling rolling on Twitter, I started posting random thoughts and sayings. To my knowledge, I came up with them. Many are puns or wordplays with some kernel of wisdom or wit. I’ll post new ones from time to time. For now, enjoy the first batch.
1. Why does the dentist, after poking and prodding your mouth with a sharp tool, scold you when they draw blood?
2. The most common type of ship is friendship, but an increasingly rare kind is a dictatorship.
3. I am somewhere between 1 and 99 percent, but I’m still figuring out how to Occupy my time.
4. If the chemistry and biology are good, sociology is sure to follow.
5. Your body is a temple, not a stadium.
6. Worrying will not add an hour to your life, but exercise can.
7. If some are followers and some are following, who is leading?
8. Editors should help writers find their voice rather than inserting theirs.
9. If a cat has nine lives, how many lives does a big cat have?
10. Don’t get even. Get even better.
11. It’s hard to fit in when everyone is so different.
12. “Fried!” I said to the chicken.
13. Reach for the sky, because if you shoot for the moon you might see stars.